As I've said before, the thought of attending a party at my in-laws home to celebrate their LIVING grandchild fills me with the desire to poke my own eyes out and/or vomit (not necessarily in that order.)
Hubby has been super supportive; others in his fam, less so. I left it to him to explain my probable absence to his dad, and got to overhear this gem of a conversation (they were on the phone but Hubby's BB was loud enough for me to eavesdrop, just the way I like it):
Hubby: You know I'll be there, but Wifey might not make it.
FIL: Well, that'd be a shame.
Hubby: But you know why, right?
FIL: Well, yep, sure do.
Hubby: And we don't need to discuss it any further, right?
FIL: Right.
Hubby: Okay, great. Love you, Pop.
FIL: Love you too, son. Bye.
Short and to the point. No need for explanation, soul searching, etc. No lectures about how I should just give thanks to god for what I already have.
Sometimes I wish I were a man.
I agree, if I were my husband all this would just be a minor bump in the road. I think if I wasn't having such a hard time he wouldn't ever think about dead babies.
ReplyDeleteThe guys really do seem to have it easier. Sounds like your FIL does get it though!
ReplyDeleteClearly I'm emotional because that post made me tear up. (Oh yeah... love those hormones that just come on in whenever they feel like it.)
ReplyDeleteMen! My hubby is the same way, but I'm glad your FIL understands! I'm sorry other people in his family are not supportive.
ReplyDeletebabyparamore.blogspot.com
You are lucky to have a FIL that understands. In my husbands family as long as you don't talk about it then it's like there isn't a problem. As soon as my Dad leaves we need to get together.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that things went smoothly with your FIL. I'm sure you must be so relieved.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, that's a great little dialogue. About the best one could expect from two men. Succinct, truthful.
ReplyDeleteHey, what's a "FIL?" I'm so clueless. Need coffee. (I mean, I get that he's your husband's dad, but what's it stand for?)
I'm glad your hubby handled it and your father-in-law understood.
ReplyDelete~ICLW
thank goodness that your FIL understands. I hate when people dont understand how painful it is to be around children after a loss, and then having to explain WHY you are not comfortable going is even harder. nothing worse than feeling judged while you are already feeling so low. i have made the mistake of not wanting to hurt other's feelings and attending such functions, which usually resulted in my crying for days afterwards. its better to not put yourself into a situation that will just trigger more pain
ReplyDeletekukd chick: FIL = father in law (although I sometimes refer to mine as the outlaws, so I guess it could be FOL as well).
ReplyDeleteOnce a Mother: Yep, I'm finally standing up for myself and giving a big fat middle finger to anyone who doesn't get it. I don't care if they think I'm selfish - I am selfish! I have to take care of my own soul, and that's that! Glad you get it!