Friday, October 1, 2010

Happenings

Ocho update: Still spotting, though it varies from nothing to almost worrisome, depending on the hour (this hour, it’s almost worrisome). I’m pretty nauseous as well. I’ve done some quick consulting with Dr. Google, and he assures me that it is quite common for women who are on lovenox and aspirin during pregnancy to have some light bleeding.


My RE assured me that unless it becomes heavy bleeding, I should try not to worry about it (and as we all know, that is easier said than done). I’m still wearing that grin, and trying to keep my mind in a good place, but I have my dark moments.
My real worry is the ultrasound Tuesday. I have NEVER had a good ultrasound. The closest we’ve ever come was Cletus – the ectopic – because even though he was in the wrong place, he was developing like a normal embryo.
I’m scared that we’ll be saying goodbye to The Ocho on Tuesday. I’m really really scared that I’ll have a panic attack before the ultrasound even starts. I’m really really really scared that if the u/s doesn’t go well, I will fall off the precipice of mental well being into a dark hole from which there is no escape.
One day at a time, I guess. For now, I’m still pregnant, and I guess that’s enough.

14 comments:

  1. ((HUGS)) Praying that Tuesday brings you some reassurance with a healthy little one in the proper place and that the spotting eases up.

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  2. I found your blog via blog surfing.

    I've got you and your Ocho in my thoughts. I know all too well that dreadful feeling, waking up in the morning of your first ultrasound scared of what to see or what not to see. You've got every reason to except a perfect day on Tuesday - many, many well wishes.

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  3. Sending you lots of good wishes and thoughts and prayers.

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  4. my dr. has always told me that spotting doesn't concern him unless its heavy and/or accompanied by cramps. he claims that more than 50% of the women in his care spot at some point throughout their pregnancy.

    let's hope this is the case for you and that baby is just fine and happy growing in your rockin uterus.

    thinking of you

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  5. Hugs and hoping that everything goes well for you on tuesday.

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  6. Hang in there til Tues, the waiting really screws with your mind but I am hoping and praying that this is the sticky one. Fingers crossed for you & thanks for your response!!

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  7. I'm thinking lots of good thoughts for you!

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  8. Lots of positive vibes for Tuesday - crossing everything.

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  9. Ahh! I'm so behind on my reading that I totally missed this big announcement! I am SO happy for you and am sending you all the positive vibes in the worlds!

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  10. Sending positive thoughts your way. I really hope that Tuesday brings the news that Ocho is here to stay. Hang in there.

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  11. Good luck tomorrow... I'll be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way.

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  12. I hear you. Ultrasounds are a time of pure, unadulterated fear for us RPL-ers. Know that you are not alone, you are a part of a club you never wanted to join, but the members are awesome. xx

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