Wednesday, October 14, 2009

the good/the bad

the good: Beta #2: 32

So, that's pretty ok. Also, spotting is pretty diminished right now, and I nearly ralphed four times this morning.

The bad: progesterone was down to 7, from 64 at my day 21 check. Fuck.

I get to go see the vampires again on Friday, and if the hcg is good-ish, I'll have an ultrasound next week. My doctor is probably worried about another ectopic. I'm worried about another ectopic. He said we'll just have to watch this one very closely.

I feel oddly detached at the moment. I am afraid to hope, to plan, to even think about it, which is odd because I usually consult Dr. Google about everything pregnancy/miscarriage related. I'm pretty stressed and could really use a glass of wine right now. Or some Southern Comfort. I'm glad, though, that for the moment I can't indulge.

Off to try to nap.


  1. Poor thing, I hate the waiting game.

    LOL at "Vampires" I've already went to them 3 times this month and will probably go back again in about 5 days.

    I hear ya about the wine. If AF arrives this month, I have a new bottle waiting. Apple wine I just picked up last weekend at the local winery. :)

    Will check in on Friday.

  2. I'm so sorry that you have to keep waiting. I can completely understand being detached and I hope you get good news soon.

  3. Hey, that sounds pretty good to me. :) Definitely reason to hope. If you have an ectopic, aren't the numbers usually higher than normal?

  4. hope that you are able to nap! and the HCG is doing the right thing and they are monitoring you which is good....good luck with the next draw, I can imagine that you will be holding your breath. best wishes!

  5. Focus on the positives as much as you can. I totally understand your detachment, I'm often afraid to have any hope. I tend to try to control things, and in an uncontrollable situation I resort to detachment so to avoid looking stupid when they say it didn't work out. I know it sounds stupid, but it is the way I cope. Just know you are not alone, and that there's no right or wrong way to feel. We've been to the dark side more than once, and do what we need to do to stay sane through the unknown. ((BIG HUG)) and best of luck. I'm pulling for you :)

  6. Hoping for good news for you on Friday.


  7. Praying for good news for you on Friday.


  8. Oh my goodness. I feel awful that I am out of town this week and haven't had a chance to catch up with what is going on. I wish I was home so I could at least hold you hand or tell you something profound. having faith this will workout for you!

  9. Thank you for the comment. I really need uplifting right now.

    I wish you the best and will be holding your hand from a distance as I just walked this same path.