Sunday, October 25, 2009

standing still/still standing

There are days when I focus on the fact that I am standing still, watching my friends get married, have babies, become parents, move forward in life, while we suffer loss after loss, stuck.

Then there are days when I thank the universe that we are still standing - we have been fucked by life, kicked in the balls over and over, and yet, and yet, WE ARE STILL STANDING. Still trying to build the life we want. Still trying to become parents.

So which is it? Standing still or still standing? A little of both, I think.


  1. Oh yes I think it is a bit of both. I got so sick if watching everyone elses life move forward while we not only stood still but appeared to be going backwards!
    It's enough to make you want to scream! Which I do on a regular basis!!

  2. Grab on to the "Still Standing" and don't let go.

  3. I don't think you're standing still. I think you're moving forward as best you can and growing stronger everyday. Life doesn't stop for you so you can stop for it.

    I heart you too!

  4. Definitely still standing. Just because there aren't visible "things" to show how you've grown, progressed, etc. doesn't mean that you haven't.

    And, frankly, with everything that we go through in this journey, kudos to us for still standing...for getting up in the morning, for dealing with all the heartache and for tolerating AF's monthly visits.

    Great question/post.

  5. Certainly a bit of both- some days will feel more one than the other! However, the most important part is that you're 'still standing' and doing the best you can to make it through and find ways to thrive amidst all the sadness.