Thursday, May 14, 2009

stupid tumor

It's been a truly rotten week. Last Thursday, my little dog was diagnosed with a tumor, and had surgery to remove it on Friday. I've been on pins and needles waiting for the pathology report to come back so we know if it's an aggressive tumor or a non aggressive tumor. She's had lots of restrictions on her activity while the incision heals, and for an active dog, and an active dog's owner, that sucks.

On top of dealing with the dogs and keeping them from playing, keeping the little dog medicated, etc, Hubby left for Europe on Sunday. Mother's Day. Blah. He didn't even acknowledge it, nor did anyone else (except one facebook friend who sent me a flower. As trivial as that was, it made me cry). I keep telling myself it's just a silly holiday invented by those evil Hallmark executives to sell more cards in their scheme for world domination, but it's futile. I wish I were a mother with an actual, live baby. I wish this didn't suck so much.

I've been really teary this week, which is odd because it's the wrong point in my cycle for emotional breakdowns. If I've learned anything during these long years of trying to create spawn (in my own evil quest for world domination!) it would be that when the tears start flowing, I need to focus on taking care of myself, because I will push my own needs to the back burner and that just makes everything worse. So I've been making sure to run every day. Eat healthy foods. Get lots of sleep. Still, I can't wait till Hubby comes home and I can have a nice long hug, and a shoulder to cry on.



  1. I'm sorry to hear about your dog, I hope the tumor turns out to be the non aggressive type.

    I know my husband feels differently about Mother's Day and Father's Day than I do and so he gets me a card and acknowledges it because he knows that's what I want. This is probably a dumb question, but does your husband know that is something you want? And yeah, I wish I had an actual live baby and everyone would acknowledge me, not just the babylost folks in the same boat.

    While you're waiting for hubby to get home go get a massage. I highly recommend it. Hugs for you!

  2. I came over from BabyLoss Directory- thanks for sharing your story with us. It helps to know we are not alone.

    Mother's day is huge because of Hallmark, that is true. But it helped me to know that it was started after the Civil War to remember the Mothers that were missing their sons that had been killed. And the fact that Mother's Day is not a happy happy day for all of us maybe is right that it was started by a grieving mom.

    I agree, though. Mother's Day sucks.

    ((hugs)) Emily from Stepping Stones (